|
NDERF INTERVIEW
with
Anita M
İAnita
Moorjani 2006
Anita Moorjani was
born in Singapore and then lived in Sri
Lanka until she was 2 years old. An
ethnic Sindhi woman from India, her
family then moved to Hong Kong where she
grew up speaking fluent Sindhi,
Cantonese and English, as well as being
conversant with a multitude of cultural
idioms. She was educated in English
schools in Hong Kong and later studied
in England before returning to Hong Kong
to take up a senior management
position for a French fashion company
where she traveled all over the world
using her multi-cultural, multilingual
background in a variety of business and
social settings. In December 1995, she
married her husband and soulmate, Danny,
who loves her unconditionally (and still
does, despite her becoming a NDE freak
now).
In April 2002 she
was diagnosed with
Hodgkin's Lymphoma and after
nearly 4 years of battling the disease,
she was taken to the intensive care unit
of her local hospital in February 2006
where she was given less than 36 hours
to live. Her remarkable NDE and seeming
miraculous recovery from cancer has
created enormous interest and commentary
on an international scale.
NDERF:
Hi Anita. It's nice to talk to you
again. It's only been a few months
since your NDE and recovery, so I was
wondering how are you feeling these
days? Has media and public interest in
your experience had any effect on your
ability to come and go as you please?
Physically, I'm feeling really great,
thanks for asking. I don’t recall
having this much energy at my disposal
ever before. As for the media and
public interest, that’s been a lot of
fun. It’s not that people recognize me
straight off the bat, you know. I mean,
a lot of people have heard my
story, but most don’t know what I look
like, because they’ve mostly either read
about me on the internet, or heard about
me on the radio. (I’m becoming a regular
on Chinese radio!!)
It’s only when I introduce myself that
people say “ohhhhh, so you’re
the Anita that died!!”
Another fun aspect is that I am getting
a lot of invitations to attend social as
well as spiritual gatherings. What I
love most is that people keep hugging
me. When they meet me, they say “I was
really moved by your experience. Can I
have a hug?” And of course, I say
“sure!” I just love that part!!
NDERF: Yes,
and I can see you are becoming expert at
giving cyberhugs on the forum. Now you
can hug worldwide! What has been the
most difficult part adjusting to 3
dimensional reality since returning from
your experience?
That’s a good question. The
most difficult part is not being able
now to see this world in the same way as
everyone else does. I don’t see things
the same way as most people, nor can I
process information in the same way I
used to. I can’t. It feels like I have
seen beyond the illusion of this
physical world, and I can’t go back to
thinking the way I used to. Sometimes I
feel misunderstood. One of my fears is
of becoming lonely, should no one
understand me.
NDERF: Yes, I
can imagine there would be a sense of
loneliness that could come with an
experience that is difficult to put into
language. Can you tell me more about
how this way of thinking affects your
physical reality?
When I
was in the NDE state, it felt like I had
woken up to a different reality. It
felt like I had awoken from the
“illusion” of life, and from that
perspective, it looked like my physical
life was just a culmination of my
thoughts and beliefs up to that point.
It felt like the whole world was just a
culmination of mass consciousness. That
is, the culmination of everyone’s
thoughts and beliefs. It felt like
nothing was actually real, but we made
it real with our beliefs. I understood
that even my cancer was not real, it was
also part of the illusion, so if I went
back to my body, I would not have the
cancer any more.
And
another thing is that, there was this
incredible understanding of how we are
all interconnected. And how what I felt
within me affects my whole universe. It
felt like the whole universe is within
me. As far as I am concerned, if I am
happy, the universe is happy. If I love
myself, everyone else will love me. If I
am at peace, the whole universe is
peaceful. And so on.
Also,
there is no such thing as time and space
in that dimension. It felt like
everything was happening
simultaneously. I saw what could be
interpreted as past lives, I saw what
was happening currently (my brother on
the plane, and conversations between my
family members and doctors), and I also
saw the future of this life pan out.
But it was as if they were all happening
at once, and I was living them all at
once. It felt like, only after coming
back, my mind has to process it as
happening in linear time, but in that
dimension, it didn’t feel that way at
all. And distance and solid walls did
not stop me from seeing and hearing
everything that pertained to me at
that time.
So now, back into 3D life, it feels like
even solid walls and distance only exist
because we decide or believe them to
exist.
NDERF:
Wow, I can
only imagine an experience like that
would mess with your mind!! So can you
tell me more about how the NDE has
affected the way you think and process
information now?
Well, first of all, my view of the world
has totally blown apart. Over these
months, I have had doctors telling me,
over and over, that what happened to me
is completely unexplainable. Medically,
it should not be possible. They can't
figure out where the billions of cancer
cells went in just a matter of days.
Medically, every way they look at it, I
should have died. My organs were shut
down. Either the cancer should have
killed me, the drugs should have killed
me, or the billions of cancer cells
trying to leave, flooding my shut down
system, should have killed me.
In view of what physically happened to
me, I am no longer able to see any
physical disability in the same light
anymore! Where, in my own mind,
would I draw the line between what is
"fixable" or "curable" and what is not?
By what scale or logic would I draw
these conclusions from? Certainly not
from what is "medically" possible! I
can't apply that to my life anymore. The
word "impossible" has no meaning to me
anymore. The boundaries of what is
possible or not is very shady to me.
I look at everything in our reality,
including things like illness and aging,
so differently. I challenge anything
that is considered “natural” or
“normal”. To me now, everything
feels like human construct – that is,
just another product of personal and
mass belief.
Having had the experience I have, it
feels like nothing is real, but
every single possibility exists.
I now live my life knowing
that I can create my own reality based
on these new truths that I have learned.
NDERF:
That’s a really powerful way to live. I
want to go into what you say about
creating your own reality, but before I
do, just while on the topic of the
physical body, it sounds as if you no
longer see the challenges of illness in
the same way – in fact, it almost sounds
like you feel “invincible”. Can you
elaborate more on that?
OK, before my
experience, one of my biggest fears in
life was cancer, another fear was chemo
(I watched 2 people die while on chemo),
and also I had a myriad of other fears.
It was almost as if my life was being
"caged" in by my fears. My experience of
life was getting smaller and smaller.
Now
move forward to my NDE. This state
caused a huge internal
consciousness shift within me. Seeing
through the illusion was a big part of
it, feeling connected to the entire
universe was another part, and becoming
aware of being flooded in an all
encompassing, loving, energy was also
another factor. This was an energy of
unconditional love - an energy that does
not discriminate or judge. This
universal energy is there for us no
matter who or what we are. It was in
this very awake state that I made the
decision to come back into life. It was
one powerful decision to come back and
experience LIFE in this body again. You
see, as soon as the choice to live or
die was presented to me, I KNEW that
once I made the decision, NOTHING
outside of myself could kill me.
NOTHING. Just the fact that I was
presented with the choice and that I had
made the decision, made it real.
And as soon as I made the decision,
every single cell in my body responded
to that decision, and I healed almost
immediately.
The doctors
continued to take tests, but could not
find anything. I understood that
everything that was being done after
that - all the tests, biopsies, drugs,
etc. etc. was being done to satisfy
everyone around me, and although a lot
of it was very, very painful, I KNEW
that I would be fine. My higher
self/soul/spirit/connection to all that
is, whatever you want to call it, that
part of me had decided to continue to
live through this body, and nothing in
this physical 3D world could affect that
decision. It felt like any decision made
from the real reality far
outweighs anything in this "illusion”.
This is that invincible feeling. The
feeling that nothing outside of
me can harm me.
NDERF:
Do you
think this feeling can be attained by
others, or do you feel that it is
something that can only be achieved
either by an NDE or by a special few?
I strongly
believe it is something that can be
attained by others. I certainly don’t
feel special, or chosen or anything like
that, in any way. Perhaps one just
needs to be at the right “place”
psychologically in their physical lives
for something like this to happen.
It can certainly look like this is just
a random event that happened to me. But
bear in mind that I had cancer for
nearly 4 years. During those four
years, I changed dramatically. Living
with terminal cancer at a reasonably
young age and watching yourself
deteriorate changes you and your
perspective on life. It can’t not. I
feel that those years “prepped” me for
exactly the type of death experience
that I had. I don’t know if I would
have been emotionally mature enough to
handle such a shift if it happened
sooner, like say, without all the
emotional and psychological “clearing”
that took place within me from living
with the cancer for almost 4 years. I
feel that I had reached a place in my
life that “allowed” this shift to
happen. I was already at a point in my
life where I wasn’t particularly
attached to any way of thinking, and had
also reached the stage of letting go of
desiring any specific outcome. In my
opinion, getting to this point was
important for me.
The NDE gave me that last “push” that I
needed, to see beyond the illusion. And
once I saw that the body is not the real
me, and that the cancer was also just an
illusion, I was then able to see how
loved I am, and I recognized my own
magnificence, and once I made the
decision to live, the physical body only
reflected this “new found” state.
I’m sure there are people who are at
exactly the right place internally, for
such a shift to take place. And they
don’t have to have an NDE for this to
happen. Perhaps all they need to do is
to bring into their awareness of what is
possible. And perhaps, just by the fact
that something like this has happened to
me, I can be the catalyst for such an
awareness to be brought into their
reality.
I believe that once people are willing
to expand their minds to let in
such occurrences into their own
reality, it may even trigger off further
inner work to allow for such a shift to
happen within them. I don't believe
everyone has to have to have something
as drastic as an NDE to see such
miracles occur. Perhaps just a
willingness to let go of beliefs which
may be holding them back.
From that state, where this life looked
like an illusion, it looked like our
strong attachment to certain beliefs is
what holds the illusion in place.
Perhaps a willingness to look at and let
go of beliefs that may be holding us
back could help us to move forward
faster, as a mass consciousness.
NDERF: This
now takes me back to a question I
differed earlier. How do we create our
reality
From the perspective of the
other dimension, it really felt like
nothing is real, only our beliefs about
them make them so. Now knowing that, I
review what I believe, and only hold on
to what serves to expand my life, and
let go of anything that feels
restricting, or doesn’t make me feel
positive in any way.
I feel that once you start believing
that something is possible, you start to
let it into your awareness, and then it
starts to become true for you. The more
you believe it, the more it starts to
become real for you. This is why it is
so, very important to believe in
positive things, rather than negative
things. Whatever you believe, you will
find that you are correct. The universe
has a way of presenting to you exactly
what you believe. If you think life is
great, you are correct. If you think
life is tough, you will be proved
correct too.
My own personal intention is to bring to
people’s awareness what our human body
is capable of doing, so that they can
let it into their belief system. The
more people start to believe it, the
more we will start to see this kind of
thing happening.
For example, a miracle is only labeled
such because it is an event outside of
our belief system. Once we see it
happen, we can start to believe it.
Once we start to believe it, it can then
enter into our own reality and happen
more and more often. It’s as simple as
that.
NDERF: Yes,
if our beliefs create our reality, then
it certainly is important to believe in
positive things, and things that serve
us, rather than things that work against
us. But how do we do that in a world
that is seemingly so full of negativity?
Remember I said earlier that
I felt that the Universe is within me?
The external world is only a
reflection of my internal world!
A lot of people say that the
world is very negative, but that’s not
exactly true. Look around you.
EVERYTHING exists simultaneously in this
universe, the positive as well as
negativity. There is poverty, there is
wealth, there is sickness, there is
health, there is love, and there is
hatred and fear, and there is happiness
and there is despair, and so on. And
there is NOT more negative than
positive. It’s just because we
choose to see the world in this way,
that it feels like there is more
negative. And the more we choose to see
it this way, and give it our focus and
energy, the more of it we draw into our
lives, and create it in our own personal
reality.
Remember, I believe that this reality is
created by mass consciousness. That’s
what I felt I broke through, during my
NDE. Each of us as individuals ALWAYS
has the choice to choose what we want to
see and believe as reality.
NDERF: So if
someone’s life was not working for them,
how would you suggest they turn it
around?
I love this question. It
gives me the opportunity to talk about
the importance of unconditional self
love. I would strongly suggest
practicing unconditional self love.
Remember, I said that the universe is
only a reflection of me. If I am
frustrated with the way life is working
for me, it is futile to change the
external elements without looking at
what’s going on internally. A lot of us
are very negative towards ourselves. We
are our own worst enemies. The first
thing I would say is to stop judging
yourself and stop beating yourself up
for where you are in your life right
now. If I am finding that I am
constantly frustrated with people, and
judging them, it is because that is how
I am internally treating myself all the
time. I am only expressing outward my
own inner dialogue to myself. The more
I love myself
unconditionally, the easier it is for me
to see beauty in this world, and beauty
in others.
If I can love myself and not judge
myself, and see my own perfection, then
I will automatically see all these in
others! And the more I love myself, the
more love I will have for others. It’s
not possible to love another more than
you love yourself. Contrary to popular
belief that it’s selfish to love
yourself, this is just so not true. We
cannot give what we do not have.
No matter where you are, it is only the
culmination of your thoughts and beliefs
up to that point. And you can change
it. Remember, I reversed my cancer at
the 11th hour. Even when the
doctors said it was too late, it was
still not too late. So the first thing
is to realize that it is NEVER
too late to do something, or change
anything. It’s important to see the
power that the present moment holds in
turning our life around.
If you believe in things like “like
attracts like” then the absolute best
way to attract what’s best for you is to
love yourself to the point where you are
filled with love, and will only attract
to your life everything that confirms
this belief about yourself. It’s
actually very simple, really.
NDERF: Can
you tell me, how does one become
unconditionally loving in a world that
is not always loving?
First of all, remember that I feel that
the universe is only a reflection of
me. So the unconditional love
is not extended out to the world
(or universe), it is unconditional love
that I extend inwardly, towards myself!
Each day, I learn to love myself
unconditionally.
Also, let me explain that there is a
difference between “being loving”
and “being love”.
Being loving means giving love to
another whether you have any for
yourself or not. It means giving what
you yourself may or may not even have to
give. This type of giving of love can
eventually drain you, because we donıt
always have a limitless supply. And then
we look to the other to replenish our
pool of love, and if it is not
forthcoming, we stop being loving
ourselves, because we are exhausted.
Being love, on the other hand, means
loving myself unconditionally so that it
overflows, and anyone and everyone
around me just becomes an automatic
recipient of my love. The more I love
myself, the more it flows out to others.
It almost feels like being a vessel for
love to flow through. When I am being
love, I donıt need people to behave a
certain way in order for them to be a
recipient of my love. They are
automatically getting my love as a
result of me loving myself. So to stop
being love, to me, means to stop loving
myself. Hence, I will not stop
being love on account of another.
NDERF:
So how would you
suggest someone elevate their own loving
energy?
I
feel it’s my self-dialogue that either
elevates or diminishes the energy I
radiate outwards. When my inner dialogue
turned against me, over time, it
depleted my energy, and caused a
downward spiral in my external
circumstances. I was always really,
really positive on the outside,
effervescent, loving, etc. etc. and
still my world was crumbling around me,
and I was getting depleted, and sicker
and sicker.
Sometimes, when we see someone who is
really positive and effervescent and
kind, yet their lives are crumbling
around them we may think "see, this
being positive thing doesn't work". But
see, here's the thing. WE DON'T KNOW
that person's own inner dialogue. We
donıt know what they are telling
themselves, inside their own heads, day
in and day out.
Remember, I am not advocating
"thinking positive" in a Pollyanna-ish
sort of way. "Thinking positive" can be
tiring, and to some people it can mean
"suppressing" the negative stuff that
happens. And it ends up being more
draining.
I am talking about my own mental
dialogue to myself. What am I telling
myself, day in and day out inside my
head. I feel itıs so very important not
to have judgment and fear in my own
mental dialogues to myself. When our own
inner dialogue is telling us we are
safe, unconditionally loved, accepted,
we than radiate this energy outwards and
change our external world accordingly.
I also think it is very important to see
perfection in the moment. The present
moment is very powerful. Each moment
holds promise, and each moment can be a
turning point for the rest of your
life.
I am often misunderstood when I
say that each moment is perfect. And
that everything is perfect. People are
afraid of seeing perfection in a
situation that is not of their liking,
thinking that seeing perfection means
not changing it. To me, seeing
perfection does not mean keeping the
situation static. It means seeing
perfection in exactly where you are in
your journey right now, no matter where
that may be. Seeing perfection in the
journey. Seeing perfection in the
becoming. Seeing perfection in the
value of the mistakes as you are
becoming. Seeing perfection in the
moment, wherever in the journey that
moment might be. That is
seeing perfection.
NDERF: This
is very powerful - being able to change
the exterior in a very positive way,
just by changing our internal world with
a positive, self-loving, inner dialog.
This is a very clear explanation of “The
Universe is Just a Reflection of Me”. It
also explains why there is so much
negativity in the world. It must be a
reflection of other people’s negative
inner dialogs, being projected outwards.
Is that what you feel?
Yes, that is exactly what I feel. You
want to know the best part about feeling
this positive energy about yourself? I
don’t feel I even have to say anything
to anyone to uplift them, but just
because of my own loving self
talk to myself, people around me feel my
positive presence. Without even having
to say anything, you will start to
notice people being attracted to your
positive presence, and be energized by
your energy. Your positive inner
dialogue helps elevate others around you
even when you are not saying anything
to them, just thinking positive
thoughts about yourself!!!!
Because energy just radiates and flows
out and touches others!! This is why
this self loving inner dialogue is so
very important in making a better world.
Have you noticed that there are people
who just seem to light up a room when
they walk in? Or people you just notice,
even in a crowd because they are just
radiating energy? You can bet that they
have a very positive and strong self
image and are running some very positive
internal self dialogue programs.
What are we internally telling ourselves
each and every day? Are we just beating
ourselves up, and judging ourselves? Are
we too hard on ourselves, and are we our
own worst enemy? That’s the real work!!
I feel we must start by changing that
inner dialogue, by loving ourselves more
and more, and then, even without having
to say or do anything to anyone, the
whole outer world changes to reflect
that inner world. I have really noticed
my physical world and others around me
reflecting this.
NDERF:
You’ve mentioned
this feeling of oneness before. The
connection to everything and the all
that is, which you felt while in the NDE
state. Can you elaborate a little more
on this feeling
In that NDE state, I felt
like I was connected to everything. I
was everything, and everything was me.
It’s something that is so hard to
explain, because the right words just
don’t exist. It felt like there is no
separation, until we come into physical
life and look at the world through the
mind. In fact, it felt like the
separation IS the mind.
There was SO much clarity in that state,
but somehow, it did not feel like the
clarity came from the mind. It’s as if
something else was doing the
understanding, and that something else
was able to identify the mind as being
separate, and the mind as being the
cause for disconnection from the all
that is. It felt like the ego and the
mind were one. So in that state, which
is beyond the mind, there was no ego and
no attachment. And all was one. The
connection was felt with EVERYTHING.
There was no discrimination and no
judgment against ANYONE or ANYTHING.
Any crime committed, or any sickness of
the body all stemmed from the same
thing. All stemmed from a separation
and disease of the mind, and is also
caused by how the mind interprets the
separation.
If we are able to stand outside the
mind, there is no problem. We are
perfect. Even imperfection is the
creation of the mind. Judgment too.
EVERYTHING. But as soon as we get
“into” our minds, we feel a need to
process, and see separation in order to
understand. But ALL stem from the
mind. In truth, we are not our
minds.
Yet, when in that state, even though I
felt one with everything, I still seemed
to recognize myself as a separate being
from the oneness, as if I had my
own evolution. It was like I
had this mind, which is not me, but I
sort of ... had an obligation to
"evolve" it as best as I could, but I
was OUTSIDE of my mind looking at it.
When we are in the physical, we are
INSIDE our mind looking out. And the
separation between all becomes more
glaring and obvious.
It felt like all the
problems and the issues of the world
stemmed from too much mind
identification. That is the illusion.
The mind is the illusion.
But I believe we always have the choice
to wake from this illusion. If I become
awake, then by extension, those around
me are affected accordingly. We can
live in this world, but choose not to
live in the illusion. We can choose to
see right through the illusion and yet
express ourselves in the physical.
After my NDE, it feels like this
illusion is just human construct. A
construct of the mind.
NDERF:
And speaking of “mind,” what are your
thoughts on telepathy? Do you see it as
mind to mind communication?
It definitely feels like
something from beyond the mind, and not
mind to mind. To me, it feels like it’s
the connection we have with each other
like I described above, the connection
with the oneness, the all that is.
I feel that we connect with others when
we are in touch with that universal
connection. Here’s what it feels like
for me. Let’s say, for the sake of
argument, I am able to telepathically
communicate with you. What has happened
is that I have cleared my mind, and made
it more transparent and become more
connected to that universal oneness, and
you are doing the same thing. So, you
and I are sort of accessing the same
pool of "oneness" info. But the reason
it feels like mind to mind communication
is because here in the physical, we are
both communicating and connecting on the
mind level. But because we are both
accessing the same info at the same time
from that oneness pool, and then when we
use our mind to communicate with each
other, we notice we have both come to
the same conclusion, and then we
interpret it as our minds have
communicated to each other.
But actually, we've both
tapped into the same "oneness" pool.
That’s sort of how it feels to me.
This is why I feel it is important to
keep clearing the attachments of the
mind, and make it more open to being
connected to this oneness. And then the
people who are appropriate for us, will
connect with us because they will be at
the same level of this clarity, and will
be accessing this same oneness pool from
the same level we are. People who are
closed are walking around in a fog,
colliding with others who are also in
the same fog, and they are fumbling and
struggling along with life. Whereas
those with the clarity are transparent,
and practically walk right through the
ones in the fog. And no one can bump
into them or derail them, because they
are so transparent and light in their
energy. That's kind of how it feels
like to me.
NDERF: I’d
like to go a little deeper into your
life, perhaps a little into your past,
your beliefs, and how you currently live
your life. In your NDE you said you
understood everything about why you were
who you are. Can you elaborate a little
more on that and your specific life
situation, like your cultural upbringing
and any religious beliefs you may have?
OK. I am multi cultural and
multi
lingual. My parents are from India, I
was born in Singapore, my grand parents
lived in Sri Lanka, but I grew up in
Hong Kong, and I had a British
education. In addition, when I started
working, partly because of my linguistic
skills, my work entailed my traveling
all over the world.
I was born a Hindu, but am
not a practicing Hindu. I went to a
multi-national school and was surrounded
by Christians, Muslims, Hindus,
Buddhists, Taoists, and so on, as well
as people who weren’t religious at all.
Growing up in Hong Kong, religion is not
a big factor in our life, because Hong
Kong is very multi cultural. Spiritual
beliefs just seem to be a philosophy
that people weave discretely into their
own lives.
I personally have no strong beliefs of
any denomination, one way or another.
When I was still studying, I was very
confused because I couldn't understand
the glaring contradictions between the
different religions (because I was
exposed to many religions), nor could I
understand the glaring contradictions
between the religions and the sciences.
I couldn't understand how we could be
taught one thing in a religious studies
class, about the creation of life, and
then learn something completely
different, about the same topic, in a
science class. I spent a lot of years
searching for answers to my confusion,
but never found anything satisfactory.
Until I had my NDE, that is. Now I don't
search anymore. I still don't know all
the answers, but I don't feel the need
to search anymore. I feel death taught
me how to live life.
Anyway, during the NDE state, I
understood the importance of my being
multicultural, and I understood why I
had been exposed to extremes in culture
and education (a combination of Eastern
and Western). It just all became so, so
crystal clear to me. When I was given
the choice of whether to come back or
not, my initial thought was to continue
to go into death, because in that state,
there is no attachment to loved ones
here. But immediately, it was followed
by the understanding, or clarity of "I
now understand! So let me go back into
life and live with this new
understanding!”
Also, there was a lot of clarity around
why my (absolutely wonderful) husband is
who he is, and why we had come together.
I understood that there was still a lot
we had to do together, and that if I
chose death, he would follow shortly
after, as it felt like our purpose was
very linked. It also sort of felt like I
would be missing out on a lot of the
gifts that life still held for me, as a
result of who I had become up to this
point in my life if I did not come back.
In a way, it sort of felt like..."The
work is done. The stage is set. Now just
go and be". Words aren't adequate, but
that's sort of it.
NDERF:
In your NDE, you mentioned getting a
glimpse of a previous life. Do you
believe in reincarnation, and do you
think it’s because of your Hindu
background?
Actually, truth be told, it’s because of
my Hindu background that I interpreted
it that way – as a past life. But in
actuality, it felt like everything else
I was experiencing in that state. It
was all happening simultaneously. So in
actual fact, it felt like a parallel
life. I also saw my future, and it all
felt just as real. Past, present and
future. It all felt like it was
happening simultaneously.
There are certain aspects of my
experience that even my own mind
sometimes has trouble grasping. But
hopefully it will come to me sometime in
the “future”, as I expand my own
thinking to encompass it. It's to do
with time and space not existing in that
dimension. So, in answer to your
question, I feel we have to change our
concept of time, and how we understand
time, to really grasp an understanding
of it. It certainly didn't feel like
“consecutive lives” or “consecutive
events” the way we understand it here in
the physical.
NDERF:
Can you elaborate
a little more on how you now live your
life, while being able to see “beyond
the illusion?”
I
sometimes hesitate to use the word
illusion, because while we are here, it
feels very real, and it's the only
reality most of us know. It can be
frustrating for people who feel pain to
hear that it’s only an illusion. But
that’s not exactly how I mean it. If I
may use it in this context, this is what
I mean.
Bear in mind that during that state, it
felt like I woke up into a different
reality, a reality where time and space
does not exist, and from that
perspective, this physical
reality looked like an
illusion – a dream. It felt like even
time is an illusion, which we need in
the 3D (physical state) so our mind can
process information in a linear fashion.
Remember, in that realm, even brick and
mortar walls and physical distance did
not stop me from knowing what I needed
to know. And there was no separation in
terms of past present and future
either. All was simultaneous. It felt
like our physical mind needs to create
the “illusion” of time and space in
order to process this in a linear
fashion.
It felt like I had awoken to a state
that went beyond mass consciousness, and
that the life I had been living up to
this point was just an illusion/dream
created by my thoughts and beliefs and
also a culmination of mass
consciousness. It was in this clarity,
that I saw that even my cancer
was part of the illusion, caused by my
mind and who I believed I was up to that
point in time. I saw that who I
truly am is a perfect and
powerful magnificent spiritual being. I
understood that no one on this
planet is more or less spiritual than
another. It's just whether we choose to
acknowledge it or not.
And now, I can't seem to live my life in
any other way than with this
knowing that there is nothing to
forgive, nothing to judge,
(these are all part of the illusion –
mass consciousness beliefs). And I now
feel that "God" is something that is
within me, within you, and within every
living creature on this planet. So how
can we not be perfect?
So in answer to your question, I feel
that the physical world is set up for us
to see imperfection, especially
in ourselves. However, the more I look
through that “illusion” and can
recognize my own magnificence and
express it, and the more perfection I
see in myself, the more wonderfully I am
seeing my life unfold. Remember, I am
not saying look for perfection in the
world. I am saying, look for perfection
in yourself. In your journey and
in your becoming. And you will see it
reflected back to you in the world.
Life has become easier, and I have
become much more loving as a result.
That is how I see beyond this
“illusion”.
NDERF:
Which leads
me to the question of your purpose. So
would you say that your purpose now is
to just be here, in the physical, and
express yourself in the physical, or is
there something more?
To me, the purpose is BEING.
And that is different from being HERE.
The focus is different. When the focus
is on being here, we can get lost
here. The physical world is full of
"other people's version" of life.
Whereas when the purpose is BEING, it
means being YOU, and only subscribing to
YOUR version of life (or creating
your version of life). To me, it
means being an expression of exactly who
I am.
My purpose is to be as much me as I can
be! 
Before my experience, I used to pursue
my purpose externally. But after my NDE,
I discovered there was nothing outside
of myself. And there was nothing to
pursue. I just had to be, and the
external would fall in to place
NDERF:
Can you
elaborate a little more on the
difference between pursuing your purpose
externally (which is what you used to
do), and just “being” which is what you
do now?
When
we “pursue” externally, we seem to see
the world as being competitive and
limited, and we use external measures to
judge our achievements. To me, herein
lies the illusion. There is no limited
supply of "beingness". We seem to
measure our “beingness” by the
achievement of goals. I don't, and
neither do most people who are happy. My
point is to shift your views. See the
magnificence in your being whether you
are rich, or poor, physically impaired
or not, with the one you love, or not,
and so on.
I am now just focused on
being, and am now
the creator of my life – that is, the
artist of my life. I don’t any more sit
and think about the external
competition. Each of us is unique, with
unique traits and talents. I only have
to express my own “beingness” and
“uniqueness”. A true artist doesn’t
really care about whether there is
anyone who can create as well as or
better than he. He is too busy
expressing himself, purely for the
purpose of expressing. He has found
something within, and is only expressing
his inner beauty, and the world shares
in it. The more inner beauty you uncover
and express, the more the universe
shares in it and reflects it back to
you.
That’s the difference between “being”
and “pursuing”.
NDERF:
Do you think
what has happened to you could be
attainable by anyone?
I
don't know for sure, but it sure feels
like it can be. I certainly don't feel
"chosen" or more special than anyone
else on the planet. Do I feel I can
"recreate" this state, now that I have
experienced it? The answer would have to
be yes. I feel like I am living my life
from this state now.
In terms of others, the way I see it,
each person is unique. And each of us
processes information differently. Some
of us are more logical, some of us are
creative, some of us are more
scientific, some of us rely on religion
for our answers. My point is that it
does not matter. We are all
unique. I have a method of processing
and expressing which may not be suitable
to a lot of people. I am only a product
of my own life situation.
However, I strongly feel
that by whatever means a person
processes their life’s information,
it
should be one that serves them, and
expands them and their views of the
changing world (not restricts or
limits them and their life experiences).
Whatever or whoever you are, open
yourself up to the possibility that
perhaps life can be different if you
think differently from the way you do
now.
In terms of what happened
to me, if it
can
happen to one person, why can't it
happen more and more? How can we, as a
mass consciousness, allow it? How can we
expand ourselves to allow it?
I don't have all the answers for anyone
else except me, because I only know how
I process information. I am only
able to process how I allow these
things to happen to me.
But yet, in the state I am now, I can
only see perfection in where I am, at
not knowing any absolute answers and
making it my own personal journey to
expand myself, and experience more each
day. As I express myself more and more,
I feel more connected with the universe.
However, it does feel to
me like an
attachment to beliefs, and an
unwillingness to let go of them and look
at things in a new way is what is
holding mass consciousness behind. But
hey, that's just the way I look at
things!
NDERF:
Can you expand
on what you mean by people’s attachments
to beliefs and an unwillingness to let
go of them may be holding us back as a
mass consciousness.
It
feels to me now that our "physical"
lives have been built around things
seeming to be a certain way. Bear in
mind, though, that people depend on
things being a certain way. Livelihoods
depend on it. Our health, wellbeing and
safety depend on it.
People's lives are "built" on certain
beliefs and their lives work within the
framework of everyone around them
believing that these things are true. If
everyone around you believes in
something, you are inclined to believe
it too, and think of it as being true.
And your life evolves, as a mass
consciousness, based on these seeming
"truths". This way of being has been
going on for a long time. It has the
feel of being solid, with solid
foundations. In that 4D state, it felt
like, this is how we created this
present physical reality - this
"illusion". By everybody believing in
the same things. That, in itself, makes
it true for the mass consciousness.
If we, as a mass consciousness, believed
in something completely
different, then the world would be a
culmination of that collective
belief. From that perspective, it
really felt like our
collective belief created this
"illusion" of truth.
I want to add here, though, that perhaps
the way the world is structured right
now, it's just not ready to know the
whole truth. Humankind are not ready for
the "illusion" to be shattered.
Everything is held in place by everyone
believing and thinking a certain way.
So if someone came along who is able to
see beyond this "illusion", it is much
easier for those still living within the
illusion to "shoot" the messenger than
to alter this "illusion". It would cause
too much uncertainty and chaos. It can't
be done overnight. Human mass
consciousness is not able to come to
terms with it. EVERYTHING would have to
be looked at differently if people saw
through the illusion overnight, and it
would cause CHAOS, not peace and love
(which those who see beyond the illusion
are trying to bring in). Our medical
systems, our judicial systems, our
education systems, our religious systems
would have to be COMPLETELY overhauled
and re-evaluated. And it can't be done
overnight.
However, those who see through the
illusion, see this. And those who see
this, become focused in creating a
reality for themselves based on their
own truths, rather than what
has been created by mass consciousness.
The universe is changing at the pace
that it is capable of changing, that's
why those who see beyond the illusion
are able to see the perfection in things
being "just so". The so called "strife"
that goes on, the wars, the disparity
between rich and poor, the
contradictions in religion and sciences,
this could be just a natural occurrence
of a consciousness that is waking up and
starting to see through this man made
illusion of mass consciousness.
Everything is happening at a pace which
is perfect for our fragile consciousness
to handle. The way our world is right
now, it is not geared up to deal with
the REAL TRUTH. The mass consciousness
does not yet seem fully ready to handle
it. Maybe it never will be. Maybe while
we are here, we are meant to deal with
things at this level. However, to me, it
certainly feels like this ability (to
live beyond the illusion) is something
that is attainable by the individual,
should they choose to do so.
NDERF:
Thank you so
much, Anita, for taking the time to
answer these questions and for going
more into depth with your story. Given
all the interest your NDE is generating
internationally, I think the things you
have said here are extremely valuable
for helping clarify the complexity of
your experience. Much love to you and
your family as you continue
disseminating your NDE for all to hear! |
